she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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