I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
