But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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