I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
