Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
