I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
