Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
