I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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