You're earring is so big in my mouth
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
