I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
