We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
