you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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