When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
