ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
