How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
