We won't sleep together?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think people are normalizing furries
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
