I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
