We're like a lot better than the average bears
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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