just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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