You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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