So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
