yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
