Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
