I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
