# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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