We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
