did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize