Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
