I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
