Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize