Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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