I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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