so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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