If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
