so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
