I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
should my penis look like a turkey
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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