I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize