This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
