my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
