All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
