I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
