do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
