So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize