Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
its not stalking. its research.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize