yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
