guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
