i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
