but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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