Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
