She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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