You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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