no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize