its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
