Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
