She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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