i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
