my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
