Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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